Wednesday, October 08, 2008

It's Been Eighteen Days

So, I was going to post something eighteen days ago, (it now appears on the Sunday September 21st post, as it was a little too complicated to move to todays date) but waited to do so-not sure I was ready to announce such an occasion to the world. Now that I'm a day out of surgery, and very much alive I thought I would make a summation of these past few weeks.
First, I regret to say that my attempts at living a kind life, felt a little bit manufactured at times. I would much rather have a heart that is truly kind, rather than seeming like I'm going through the motions. 
Within those seventeen days, I had a big confrontation with a neighbor that proved my inability to control the universe by being kind. I feel like part of this disagreement was my responsibility, in that I had previously complained to this neighbor about their dog waking me at night, in a very complainy sort of way.
I had felt I needed to go an make amends, apologizing for the delivery of my complaint. But I didn't do so, and dealt with he consequences of their previous encounter with me. All that to say, I am imperfect, and need to make amends, ask for forgiveness when I have offended others, and know that only Christ has been the only perfect one to walk this earth. The only way I can have a ounce of kindness is by the belief  and action in His commandment to love one another. 
That may sound a little to "religious" for some of my blog readers, but do know that it's important for me to know why I believe what I believe, and for you as friends to have some information regarding my worldview.
My surgery went well, and the doctor said it did not look cancerous, and I expect the pathology reports on Friday. That being said, I will continue in my quest to be a person who loves, knowing that I am flawed, and that the only true grace comes from God.


Indy4now said...

Well, I am happy to have this little update on the urgerysay since I was unable to reach you by phone. I'll keep the prayers a goin until I hear more, even on the neighbor issseewww too! Just rest assured that the C man isn't really the least bit phased. However, we don't live next door to it. Sending love, odeejay

deanna said...

I appreciate your honesty and desire to remember Christ's love and to see your faults. Also am very glad you're doing well so far! Keep the updates coming when you can.