Friday, June 26, 2015

"The Wildest Ride In the Wilderness!"

The wind has blown me to Disneyland, countless times.

Yes, countless times, as I might be a little embarrassed to count the actual days of my life I have spent at the Disneyland Resort.  But some of you may not know that the title of this story are the last words you hear before one gets on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad rollercoaster in Disneyland(or to be technical it is also played at the Magic Kingdom at Disney World).

After not being in a real bed for longer than usual from travelling from Hawaii (yes Hawaii) I thought it a brilliant idea to take up my walking buddy’s offer of walking at 6:00A the next morning, which is technically 3AM Hawaiian time.

(Photo of my walking buddy and me. JK, it’s Pixar’s Joy and Sadness from the movie “Inside Out”.)

It took a good 15 minutes struggling to find a jog bra, my Cascade Lakes Relay shirt and the rest of my clothes to make a decent presence for the neighborhood walk.  I then proceeded to negotiate a 6:25 meeting time.

The song playing in the car- “Good To Be Alive” by Jason Gray.  This is a song that is in my mind’s jukebox. H23. I love the lyrics of this song, which a few years ago I shared a link with a friend who was in the midst of battling breast cancer and she replied after I posted on her page, “What a fun presentation! Making this my theme song!”
She fought the good fight, made this her theme song, but she died three months later.

But this day, this Thursday, was the day that my good friend was to get his chemo for the first time.  I know he is living the theme of that song, and I want him to still be here with us.  I wore the Cascade Lakes shirt because I was running the race when my sister had her first chemo treatment. She finished her race at 59 years young. 
I keep cutting in line to pray for my friend,  that he is healed and stays here with us to continue to remind us to “Hold Fast”.

So I took the words of the song to heart and began the day.

My walking buddy (remember the previous photo) and I did our catching up on our walk, and did something we hadn’t done before. I asked her if we could pray for our friend when we were done walking, and she said we could just do it then.
Interestingly, I have never prayed out loud whilst walking, at least I cannot recollect this. It was so, well, bizarre. It felt like I was walking with my eyes closed. (You may ask, “Why is this relevant to the story?” Well, it is it was just that kind of day. Trusting what God has planned for your day is a bit like walking with your eyes shut, trusting what He has set before you-eyes open or shut).

At the conclusion of our walk we talked a bit about not seeing each other for a while as I would be going Wildhorse Canyon for YoungLives Camp on Sunday morning.

When I made it home I saw that I had a text message on my phone from one of my YoungLives team member, to call her ASAP. She uses capitals A LOT so I wasn’t too concerned, but I called her right away, even thought it was seven something in the morning, which apparently yesterday, all time was irrelevant.

She asked how I was doing, and such and I said I was gearing up to pack for camp. Then she said we weren’t going to camp. I was a little confused. I was listening and thought maybe I was somehow axed from the list because we had too many leaders for our area, or that maybe we didn’t raise enough money…

But this was the problem :

Apparently, the camp is currently shut down due to this ball of no fun, the Norovirus.

So my YoungLives leader friends and Young Life staff, and everybody and their dog are trying to make this camp happen (background story that is running behind the scenes while I do other stuff. The stuff that I do. Whatever it is that is I do).

My day was to be reserved for packing and running errands to get ready for me leaving for camp.

So I did what I most always do every day with the attitude of “Let’s see where the wind blows me today.”

Sure enough, I found myself helping charge a car battery for one of my Hosea friends, which occupied a good portion of my day helping to solve the issue of a dead van battery.

Then I was onto helping another Hosea friend who needed a ride to the grocery to get her WIC food, as she owns no car. While in the grocery store, I found myself thinking, “This is so funny that I actually LIKE doing stuff like this.”

The day progressed, battery problem sort of solved until the first of the month, and the YoungLives camp solution was being worked out in the background. The day ticked into the evening, then I sat with my husband and discussed the day(the daughter made dinner whilst I was out and about). Then I realized we needed to get onto the production part of hosting a house concert in about three weeks-a concert at our house with a “real” folk artist, icon if I must say.

No, it is not Daft Punk, but an amazing singer songwriter, folksy guy from Alabama. Pierce Pettis is his name, and my favorite song he wrote is “God Believes In You”. Why yes, I will share all the lyrics of the song:

When you start to doubt that you exist
God believes in you
Confounded by the evidence
God believes in you

When your light burns so dim
When your chances seem so slim
And you swear you don't believe in him
God believes in you

When you rise up just to fall again
God believes in you
Deserted by your closest friends
God believes in you

When you're betrayed with a kiss
You turn your cheek to another fist
It dose not have to end like this
God believes in you

Oh, everything matters
If anything matters at all
Everything matters
No matter how big, no matter how small
Oh, God believes in you
God believes in you

When you're so ashamed that you could die
God believes in you
And you can't do right even though you try
God believes in you

Blessed are the ones who grieve
The ones who mourn, the ones who bleed
In sorrow you sow but in joy you reap
God believes in you

My friend, who’s husband started chemo in the morning, is the one who introduced this song to me. I can still picture us sitting in the car, listening to this song. What a story God weaves.

So Paul and I just started getting into the planning of the house concert when my daughter asked me to go to a movie, Disney/Pixar’s  “Inside Out”.  She texted, “I heard it is a Nancy movie.”

We determined after the movie, that it was like being in my head.

Without giving away all of the plot and my interpretation of what happens in the movie, I will say that Disney/Pixar’s solution to the problems of life differ from my perspective. I do not believe a wagon fueled by song will launch us to the moon. Imagination, escapism, romantisim, pragmatism, sarcasm or a thousand trips to Disneyland will not solve the problems that we have.

The movie’s plot and thoughts around this theme and the dilemma I had with their solution bounced around in my head kinda like heffalumps and woozles all night until I woke up, with this thought,

Only the Truth of His Love and Grace can save us from ourselves.”

Nothing romantic or warm fuzzies about an innocent man dying on a cross in my place. The story of the cross that is told is the Truth that I believe. That is the truth with the big T. My broken soul and body is on a train ride to something, and someplace better, lighter, more loving with a capital L. No more tears. No more death. No more fake love, only His Real Love.

So I ride this daily train with the problems, evil, sin, etc., believing,  knowing that He has the master plan/design that appears flawed to us, but is wonderfully made. Buckle up.

*My last published blog was about my friend/brother that I mentioned above. I don't need to read it again. I know that he is even a better man that he was four years ago. 


deanna said...

Thanks for writing again, Nancy.

I wish your friend the best in his painful struggle, and I'm sure it's painful for you, too. Thank you for the movie review; it's not unexpected to have it all tied up in a gooey pink bow for our culture. But I'm more on the page with you of relying on His rescue, which shines in reality, the conquering of death, our greatest enemy. Although the gleam is for eyes of belief and not for physical ones, yet. But someday what is now perceived by faith will be seen by all, and in the meanwhile, there is hope amid corruption.